I tired spot cream an' I tried it all I'm crawling up the wall!
What's my name naaaame...naaaame....naaaame....
I tried to join a ping-pong club, sign on the door said all full up! I got nicked, fighting in the road an' the judge didn't even know
What's my name
Dad go pissed so I got clocked Couldn't hear the Tannoy so he lost the lot Offers Mum a bribe through the letter box Drives you fucking mad
What's my name
Now I'm round the back of your house at night Peeping in the window - are you sleeping tight? I laugh at your locks with my celloid strip An' you won't know who came