Lyrics:

I saw the light, they returned last night, un-answered questions tortured me
like how they unlocked the door?
Why's my rectum sore?
Why do i twitch when i watch E.T?

Alien Abduction Probe happens all over the globe, they came scratched their itch,
Left me crying in a ditch, it's all so crule and cold they put my life on hold,
This crap is getting old, Alien Abduction Probe.

You know they stuck a micro-chip in the hole between my hips, such a gross indignity,
Involuntary corn holeation, courtesy of the alien nation,
Why do they always come for me?

Huh i say

Alien Abduction Probe happens all over the globe, they came scratched their itch,
Left me crying in a ditch, it's all so crule and cold they put my life on hold,
This crap is getting old, Alien Abduction Probe.

Let me probe you one time where i'm talking about.

So late at night i sit alone stare at the twilight zone, with a sawed off shot gun in my hand,
Drinking cheap wine and getting plastered,
Waiting for those great green bastards, it's the only way to make them understand.

oooooh

Alien Abduction Probe happens all over the globe, they came scratched their itch,
Left me crying in a ditch, it's all so crule and cold they put my life on hold,
This crap is getting old, Alien Abduction Probe.