Lyrics:

This is a story, tell it quick as I can
A week ago, I met a stumbler man
He stumbled up, he said, 'All I wanna know,
How far the hratche-plche Kaiser Rolls'

I begged his pardon, should have turned and ran,
So hard talking to a stumbler man
He stumbled over, and over again
'The Kaiser hratche Rolls since time began'

I raised my finger from the center of my hand,
Tried to wave farewell to the stumbler man
He slobbered 'n' puked (PUGH!) in a garbage can
'The Kaiser hratche Rollin' might raise some sand'

Pushed him aside as he was slowin' my plan
So hard to understand a real stumbler man
Some stuff from his nose, crawled over his clothes, he said,
'Nobody ever tells me which way he goes'

Kaiser rolls 'n' rolls 'n' rolls
Kaiser rolls, and Kaiser rolls
Surprise to me they ain't catched him yet,
How's about a dollar for some cigarette?