Lyrics:

Well you say you only watch documentaries
And that bad cold youve got, thats the flu
And that book that you foisted upon me
Ill never read it, will you?

Did you play in the Garden of Eden?
Were the goalkeepers gloves to you tossed?
Cos it seems to me youre the reason
Youre the reason why Paradise Lost.

Was it you who invented the school run
At the Laboratoires Garnier, Gaul?
And is it you whos to stone for the motorway cone
Barry Venison and Davina McCall?

Did you play in the Garden of Eden?
Were the goalkeepers gloves to you tossed?
Cos it seems to me youre the reason
Youre the reason why Paradise Lost

Ah regain it for me Rodney

Well weve both seen your personalised reg plates
And its not the worst crime I agree
But we both know full well that it really should spell
T-W-A-T-O-N-E.

Did you play in the Garden of Eden?
Were the goalkeepers gloves to you tossed?
Cos it seems to me youre the reason
Youre the reason why Paradise Lost