Lyrics:

Well, I told her that I thought life's too short
And we really should go for a ride
Paul's just phoned, the war's postponed
So come on, I've got the Plymouth outside
The sky's a bit dull but the fridge is full
Things could be a lot worse
It's not like you've been captured by Barbary Corsairs
I said "Let's head Winchester way", she said "Been yesterday"
Twenty-seven yards of dental floss, and she still won't give me a smile

Fired by wine, she was almost mine
'Til a fight broke out in the bar
Third-Rate Les in his Burberry Fez
Had gone just a little too far
Nailing down his bailing wire
To the laminate floor
He sang a salty song about a girl from Bangalore
I said "Would you like to go the zoo?", she said "Yeah, but not with you"
Twenty-seven yards of dental floss, but she still won't give me a smile
I'm King Euphoria, she's Queen Victoria
Twenty-seven yards of dental floss, and she still won't give me a smile
I'm clowning by the Serpentine, she's still drinking turpentine
Will she ever shine her light on me?