Lyrics:

We had to book a holiday, but we were sick o'Whitley bay
We fancied the Mediterranean.
All the vacancies had gone, that's all the vacancies but one
A Vacancy for which we didn't plan.

What could we do? we could hitch, a ride back home from moskvitch
We had to stay and face the cost and sunbathe in the Russian frost.

One one one ONE NIGHT IN MOSCOW, & WE'LL BE RUSSIAN HOME
One one one ONE NIGHT IN MOSCOW
I'll be Russian, YOU'LL BE RUSSIAN, WE'LL ALL BE RUSSIAN HOME

The brochure said it's nice and warm, you need no Russian uniform
We had the flu and caught a Russian cough,
No fish n'chips or decent pubs, We called the hotel Wormwood Scrubs
We said we would complain to Gorbochof.

WE COULDN'T FIND A DISCO ANYWHERE, NO McDONALDS OR A WIMPY IN RED SQUARE
We must have been potty to have gone to the soviet union.

For a pint and Coronation Street
Russian home
A Bacon Sarny and as much as we can eat
Russian home
(Guitar Bit)