Did you hear about Kansas
About an old Kansas boy
Livin' on the river
In an old black Molloy
N' buying raw red gum
N' making raw red wine
Crazy as a stallion
Choked on a lariat line
Got a belly like a boiler
Got a head like a whale
N' when he moths yuh up for something
Gonna be blowin' a gale
There's blood on the table
N' skins on the door
N' there's last week's huntin'
All over the floor
But there's a dealer got in there
Made Kansas go crazy
An' he split him wide open
Like a two-night daisy
Threw the dealer out the window
And the rest out of the door
Now they're floodin' water
Through his back door
They've been aiming to settle him
An' was him away
Oughta know the old gopher's
Been gone for days
Blew over the prairie
Right into the hills
Now nobody gonna get him
Less a mountain kills.