Lyrics:

You know, it's such a shame that it's so hard to find good, honest legal help these days.
See, the problem with my brother and me is we're recidivists--habitual criminal offenders. No attorney wants to go near us. I gotta find him a lawyer, and I don't know what I'm gonna do...
The D.A. was Burger
The cop was Tragg
Della was the secretary
Drake sat on the desk with Perry