Lyrics:

Well, I been spending all my money on weed and pills
Trying to write a song that'll pay the bills
But it ain't came yet so I guess I'll have to rob a bank
I guess it could be worse it ain't that bad
At least I ain't sitting in old Baghdad
In the middle of the hot damn desert sitting in a tank

Every time the wife talks a baby gets mentioned
But I'm so broke I can't pay attention
Lord, how it tears me up to see her cry
Oh, I been spending all my nights on the internet
Looking for a clue but ain't found one yet
Just a bunch of Mopars, guitars, and other stuff I can't buy

Well now Lord, if you can hear me won't you throw a damn dog a bone
'Cause if the Devil shows up with a better deal this old soul's going down
I sing 'em real pretty, I sing 'em real sad
All the people in the crowd say he ain't half bad
They call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain
But if you want it you can have the crown

Been sitting on my ass like a bump on a log
Watching Andy and ol' Boss Hog
Guess I ought to get up and go find a job
Instead of sitting on the couch trying to find the next line
I'm sure there's gotta be a better use of my time
Like figuring out which one of these banks I'm gonna go rob

Well, the name of the game is hurry up and wait
But that ain't putting no food on my plate
Or gas in my car and I drive a Bronco
So Lord if I could just get me a record deal
I might not have to worry about my next meal
But I'll still be trying to figure out what the hell rhymes with Bronco

Well now Lord, if you can hear me won't you throw a damn dog a bone
'Cause if the Devil shows up with a better deal this old soul's going down
I sing 'em real pretty, I sing 'em real sad
All the people in the crowd say he ain't half bad
They call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain
But if you want it you can have the crown
They call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain
But if you want it you can have the crown