Lyrics:

Just got in from the local
Had to try the local brew
And I run into the local gossip and I learned a thing or two
About you local yokels
And what yous get up to
And he read me your pedigrees and I'll read 'em back to you

He said the local chefs a poofter
The local docs a drunk
The local priest likes little boys bums
And the local cops a cunt
I said the local cops a
What did I say?
The local cops a cunt

The local mayors a fucking dickhead
His wifes the local snob,
The local bank managers a fucking wanker and so's the local cop.
The local sparky's a fucking cowboy
The local plumbers making a mint
The local undertakers a fucking weirdo
And the local lawyers full of shit

The local bookie's a shonky bastard
The local race is fucking rigged
The local publican ought to be fucking hung for watering down the piss
The local pollie's a fucking gin jockey
And heres something else I know
The local cricket team ain't worth fucking shit
The local footy teams a fucking joke

The local butchers full of blow flies
The local dogs are full of fleas
The local barbers a fucking butcher
The local kids are fucking thieves
The local car yard is a fucking rip-off
And so's the local show
And the local cops a dead set cunt but I mentioned that a minute ago
When I said

The local chefs a poofter
The local docs a drunk
The local priest likes little boys bums
And the local cops a cunt
I said the local chefs a poofter
The local docs a drunk
The local priest likes little boys bums
And the local cops a cunt
I said the local cops a what did I say?
The local cops a cunt
Big finish.
1,2,3,4
The local cops a cunt