Lyrics:

Poor Mr. Chisholm
Played on the mandolin
But he couldn't win
'Cause he tried to swing
And he broke a string every time

Poor Mr. Chisholm
Just couldn't dig the jive
When he did arrive at the proper note
He arrived by boat every time

He tried to jazz up his mandolin
But never could quite control it
He always brought Bach and Handel in
When it took a lick, he always broke a pick

Poor Mr. Chisholm
You're quite a gay old blade
With your serenade, but you're corny, Jack
Better truck on back to Dubuque
Get a Uke-
You disgrace your kin
On the mandolin every time