Lyrics:

A well known Bognor restaurant owner
Disappeared early this morning
Last seen in a mouse brown overcoat
Suitably camouflaged, they saw him catch a train
(Choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo)

Father of three, it’s disgusting
Such a horrible thing to do
Harold the Barrel cut off his toes
And he served them all for tea
He can't go far, he can't go far
Hasn't got a leg to stand on
He can't go far

I'm standing in a doorway
On the main square, tension is mounting
There's a restless crowd of angry people

More than we've ever seen
Had to tighten up security
(Run, run, run, run)

Over to the scene at the town hall
The Lord Mayor's ready to speak

Man of suspicion, you can't last long
The British public is on our side

You can't last long, you can't last long
Said you couldn't trust him
His brother was just the same
You can't last long

If I was many miles from here
I'd be sailing in an open boat on the sea
Instead I'm on this window ledge
With the whole world below
Up at the window, look at the window

We can help you

We can help you

We're all your friends
If you come on down and talk to us son

You must be joking
Take a running jump

The crowd was getting stronger (Was getting)
And our Harold getting weaker (Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha)
Forwards, backwards, swaying side to side (Giving them their drama)
Fearing the very worst
They called his mother to the site
(Run, run, run, run)
Up on the ledge beside him
His mother made a last request

Come off the ledge, if your father were alive
He'd be very, very, very upset
You just can't jump, you just can't jump
Your shirt's all dirty
And there's a man here from the BBC
You just can't jump

We can help you

We can help you

We're all your friends
If you come on down and talk to us Harry

You must be joking
Take a running jump