Lyrics:

Ain't that Zeke sittin' over there? (Yeah, that's him)
Zeke, you dirty so and so, I wanna talk to you, Zeke
You ain't no good, and I ain't no refrigerator
I can't keep nothin', Pay attention to me

Now listen, old man, you and me been friends for a long time
and up 'til now we've been gettin' along just fine
But there's a few little things I gotta pull your coat about
You pay attention to me and we ain't gonna fall out

I work nights and I think you've been very kind
comin' over stayin' with my wife all the time
But must you use my razor blades?
Buy some, they're only a dime. You call that friendship?

And stop doin' them little dirty tricks like jammin' the chair up against the door
You kept me out last night until half past four
I know you didn't mean any harm, but that's enough to make anybody sore
You call that friendship?

What about that night you came and took my wife to the show?
I asked her what movie she saw and she said she didn't know
I told you she couldn't see so good, so don't sit back that far no more (You ain't no good)
That's right, Zeke, you ain't no good

Now I don't get mad like the average cat would do, when she buys me a shirt and she buys you two
But when she feeds you chicken and steak, and give me Irish stew
You's a lizard in the bushes, that's what you are, that's what you are

And you stop feedin' her that candy and sweet stuff to eat
That jive is makin' her talk in her sleep
She kept me awake all last night mumblin' your name and sayin' 'sure is sweet'

You ain't no friend of mine, Zeke. No friend of mine
But I tell you, Zeke, I'm real happy
I'm happy as can be about that big insurance policy you and my wife took out on me
But what's all that arsenic doin' round the house?
That's what I can't see. Zeke, you tryin' to poison me?
That's what you don', you tryin' to poison me'

And what about that night I came home and caught that lipstick on your face
You and my wife broke up the fun and your wrastlin' all over the place
And you told me you's playin' Cowboy and Indian and you was Chief Rain In the Face
You don't look like no Indian to me, but I'm gonna scalp ya
That's what's gonna happen, I'm gonna scalp ya

And even when we went on our honeymoon, the bell boy told me you rented the very next room
I know you my friend, but I didn't wanna see you that soon
Don't you never speak to me no more, Zeke
Do you call that friendship? (No! No!)
You ain't no friend of mine