Lyrics:

And now a word from our sponsor: the Evelyn Woodhead Speed Reading Course.

Ever since I took this Evelyn Woodhead Sped Riddin' course, my riddin' has I'm-provved one hunert percent and also 'comprenshun' has increased 'won-der-full-lee'. I recommend the Evelyn Woodhead Sped Riddin' course to all mah friends out there, and you tell 'em that you heard it here first on Roller Derby.