Lyrics:

I'm normal yes I'm normal

Normal as anybody can be

I'm normal yes I'm normal

There's no one as normal as me

Well I've had my share of orgys

Young marrieds and gay swingers

Had too many weirdos

Wet nurses and girl singers

Seen me enough blue movies

To last me a lifetime through

And I'm getting pretty desperate

For something new to do

So I'm throwing out my rubber sheets and kinky knee high boots

Going back to holding hands

That's where I got my roots

Throwin' out my dildos and porno magazines

Goin' back to wholesome sex just like it's in my teens

I'm normal yes I'm normal

Normal as anybody can be

I'm normal yes I'm normal

There's no one as normal as me

No one ever just says 'hi'

Or talk about the weather

They all ask me if I'm bi

And into whips 'n leather

There's just too many massage girls

Doin' it for free

And I get that funny feeling

Someone's usin' me

So I'm throwin' out my Spanish Fly

All that Vitamin E

Swallowed enough stupid pills to start a factory

Yes I'm givin' it all up I'm going back to zero

Getting just too tired of being a pornographic hero

I'm normal yes I'm normal

Normal as anybody can be

I'm normal yes I'm normal

There's no one as normal as me