Lyrics:

He He He
(Knock knock)
Oh shit he's here
Hi
'Uh how ya doing?
Is this the right place for that furniture ah'
Yeah sure is come on in
'Pretty nice place here you got here cobwebs are a nice touch
So that's the couch eh?'
Yeah we got some um take a look at the upholstry right there
'That's pretty fucking nice I haven't seen
Whoa you all right there'
Excuse me real upholstry
'I ain't seen nothing like that since shit like back in the'...CLUNK
Mutherfucka!
You want my couch?!
You muthaFUCKA!
I need your mutherfucking brain!
You can't have my couch!
What the fuck you thinkin'?!
Now come here you BIG FAT MUTHA FUCKA get on the table!

I was never popular this I'll admit, fuck school
School never liked me, cool
All the kids would always beat me till I'm half dead
Make fun of the size of my forehead
But that shit never bothered me
See momma and mother they owned a lot of property
They had a science lab in the basement and that's where my free time
...Well all my time was spent
I made a mouse with a chicken head it clucked three times
Cluck Cluck Cluck, then it was dead
I made a lot of things cool
Like a frog with a turkey neck (gobble gobble gobble) it was the shit, yeah!
But I'm still lonely I need a homey
So I collected limbs and made me a zombie
I could have made a girlie friend
But fuck that I got my girlie right here (masturbation and moaning sounds)
Yeah!

You can call me mad professor
I will make a friend for me
You can call me mad professor
We will rule eternity

'So this is like where you live?'
That's right why you don't like it?
'I mean oh my god it's dirty
Do you like'- THUD
Hehe Shut up BITCH!
Gimme your tippie toes!

I used some many body parts it was crazy
I killed a whole bunch of muthafucka's like, what eighty?
They all chipped in on my special friend
Everything helps even if you got a finger to lend, come on!
I hear the other children playing outside
'Keep it down you little bitches I'll skin your fucking hides'
Careful! this part's wack (what?)
Somehow I gotta attach this nut sack (eh!)
Shit! Fuck! I'm sawing off an elbow
Looking at the meter my quazar in the low (what?!)
Or better yet look out the fucking window (oh)
I see a storm coming it's all most time to roll
Screw the head on come on, come on
It's the thuggish ruggish Bone
OK it's time hit the switch turn it up a hertz
Fuck! Shit, didn't work

You can call me mad professor
I will make a friend for me
You can call me mad professor
We will rule eternity

Hey
'Hey you call for a wrecka?'
Sure did come on in
'I got the truck running outside I'm gonna go ahead'
THUD
'Oww muthafucka what you'd hit me with a fucking frying pan or sumthing?
What the fuck'
THUD
What the fuck bro?
You crazy mutherfucka oww that shit hurts'
(Violent J is in pursuit)
THUD
Come here!
THUD
'I'm gonna fuck you up!'
Get back here!
'He's trying to kill me!'
THUD

It wasn't always easy (hell nah!) let me tell ya
But fuck that (err!) 'cause I ain't no failure (Yeah!)
I put the shit with the veins and stuff with that wait a minute
(Fart sound)
You hear that?
Yeah!
It's alive (woo), I just gotta wake it up
Hand me that Rock N Rye
Pour it in the cup
Give it to his ass WAIT HOLD UP pause
I ain't cleanin' his draws man fuck that!
Get him set, get him ready it's all most time
Paint his ugly ass face up almost like mine
I see him twitching I'm on a roll
He can help me tell the whole world about the carnival (woo!)
Turn the hertz all the way up for this shit
And just wait for that (come on come come on come on) lightning bolt to hit
Did it work? You make the call!
Shaggy?
'What up Y'all?!'
(Triumphant shouts) I'm Alive, I'm alive!

You can call me mad professor
I will make a friend for me
You can call me mad professor
We will rule eternity
You can call me mad professor
I will make a friend for me
You can call me mad professor
We will rule eternity
You can call me mad professor
I will make a friend for me
You can call me mad professor
We will rule eternity
We will rule eternity
We will rule eternity
We will rule eternity
We will rule eternity