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Songs | Albums | Album Arts
Lyricist: Eminem
Lyrics:
Spoken: A lot of people ask me, stupid fuckin' questions. A lot of people think that, what I say on record, or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life, or that I believe in it. Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody that, I'm actually gonna do it, or that I believe in it. Well shit, if you believe that, then I'll kill you, you know why?
'Cause I'm a criminal Criminal, you goddamn right I'm a criminal Yeah I'm a criminal
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge That'll stab you in the head, whether you're a fag or les Or a homosex-, hermaph- or a trans-a-ves Pants or dress, 'Hate fags?', the answer's yes
Homophobic, nah you're just hetero-phobic Starin' at my jeans, watchin' my genitals bulgin' (Ooh!) That's my motherfuckin' balls, you better let go of 'em They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of 'em
Hey it's me Versace, whoops somebody shot me And I was just checkin' the mail, get it, checkin' the 'male' (clicks tongue twice) How many records you expectin' to sell After your second LP sends you directly to jail
Come on relax guy, I like gay men Right Ken, give me an amen (AAA-men!) Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing 'Cause, I watch TV and Comcast cable And you ain't able to stop these thoughts You can't stop me from toppin' these charts
And you can't stop me from droppin' each March With a brand new CD for these fuckin' retards (Duh) And to think, it's just little ole me Mr. Don't-Give-A-Fuck, still won't leave
I'm a criminal 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin', I don't take shit from no one
I'm a criminal 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin', I don't take shit from no one
My mother did drugs, hard liquor cigarettes and speed The baby came out, disfigured ligaments indeed It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she Don't dare make fun of that baby 'cause that baby was me
I'm a criminal, an animal caged who turned crazed But how the fuck you s'posed to grow up when you weren't raised So as I got older and I got a lot taller My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker Than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin' the word My morals went *thhbbpp* when the president got oral Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee, now don't ignore me you won't avoid me You can't miss me, I'm white blonde-haired and my nose is pointy I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die in plane crashes And laughs as long as it ain't happen to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em- -inem and Kim combined, *kch* the maniac's in In place of the doc, because Dre couldn't make it today He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin' his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place I told you Dre, you should've kept that thing put away I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh I'm a criminal
Spoken by Eminem, Dr. Dre, (Teller) Aight look... Uh huh? Just go up in that motherfucker, get the motherfuckin' money and get the fuck up outta there. Aight. I'll be right here waitin' on you. Aight. Yo, Em! What?! Don't kill nobody this time! Aright! God damn, this motherfucker gets on my fuckin' nerves. *Whistling* (Hi!) How you doin'? (How can I help you?) Yeah I need to make a withdrawal. (Okay.) Put the fuckin' money in the bag bitch and I won't kill you! (What? Oh my god, don't kill me!) I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin' around. (Don't kill me, I have two kids at home, don't kill me.) I said I'm not gonna fuckin' kill you, hurry the fuck up! *BOOM* Thank you!
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it So I'll be disguised in it And if anybody identifies the guy in it, I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness Then fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business Die bitches, bastards brats pets This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts Tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck *Clucking* You motherfuckin' chickens ain't brave enough To say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up To make you mad, so kiss my white naked ass And if it's not a rapper that I make it as I'ma be a fuckin' rapist in a Jason mask
I'm a criminal 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin', I don't take shit from no one
I'm a criminal 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin', I don't take shit from no one
I'm a criminal 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin', I don't take shit from no one
I'm a criminal 'Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime to tell 'em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal But I don't gotta say a word, I just flip 'em the bird and keep goin', I don't take shit from no one
I am a criminal
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