Lyrics:

All my days

I live with my disgrace

I?'m afraid to show my face

Or at least take off my underwear



See I was born

Like a half way neutered pet

I don?'t have a matching set

It?'s a part of me

That just aint there

Please, don?'t stare



Well I?'m a gambling man with out two dice

I?'m like Uncle Ben with only one grain of rice

Oh to have two testis would be so nice

But I?'m half a man

Yeah, I?'m half a man



Wanna die

end it all, just call it quits

I can?'t find a cup that fits

And at baseball games I feel so dumb

When I hear ?ball one?



Oh, my God

How could you have been so cruel

To give me one family jewel

And the one that?'s there must feel so sad

He?'s a lonely man



Well I?'m a marathon runner with just one leg

I?'m a fallopian tube with just one egg

Oh, I want another testi

Do I have to beg?

I?'m half a man



Well I?'m a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum

And I?'m a Siskel and an Ebert with just one thumb

And I?'m a Yo Ho Ho with no bottle of rum

I?'m just half a man

Yeah, I?'m half a man