Lyrics:

I was sitting in my easy chair
I was flipping between the game and the Ultimate Fight
I was setting my beer on this table, the kind that doubles as a lamp
And constantly reaching to pick it up was giving me a cramp

So I set my beer in the crease below my chest
As if to give my beer a little nest
My beer holder's great and now I'm blessed
Cause it keeps working better than I could have ever guessed

My beer holder's getting bigger everyday
It works better with each beer I put away
Lookee here, dear, I can set my beer right here and it stays
My beer holder's getting bigger everyday

It's a win-win deal the way that things in life go down
How good it feels to know it's true without a doubt
It won't spill in my lap even if I take a nap
I've probably done it now about a thousand times with only one or three little mishaps

Now my wife doesn't see the genius of my plan
How my holder holds a bottle, cup or can
I hope some day she won't, won't just roll her eyes
'Cause with every beer I drink, my sweet beer holder's gaining size

My beer holder's getting bigger everyday
It works better with each beer I put away
Lookee here, dear, I can set my beer right here and it stays
My beer holder's getting bigger everyday

It's a win-win deal
How good it feels
How my beer holder's getting bigger everyday