Yes, many times... because I don't worship this existence. So therefore
It's the... it's a driving force for me... is to die. It's the only power I can
Get, you know, from... the only reason why I'm still here is because
I want to die in a certain way. And I want to achieve some things.
I wouldn't dare to die with a weak soul, I wouldn't dare to die with a
Human goodness or a human light in my mind.
It's just that I want to clean my soul a little bit from the shit here, so...