Lyrics:

Why do the best lookin' girls have real ugly friends
It seems like it always works like that
You'll meet a queen a girl of your dreams
And she'll have a friend that's really fat
But you decide to take a chance this could be a great romance
If only she could just get rid of her
She's my cousin from the east and I know that she's a beast
And I don't think that this is gonna work

So you take them both out while you try to figure out
How can I dump the pig
You've spent sixty bucks but things are looking up
She just said she wants to make it big
Now the problem is this every time we hug and kiss
Her friend says I want to go home
And we want her too but we don't know what to do
And that's why it's time for this song

Why do the best lookin' girls have real ugly friends
It seems like it always works like that
Oh, you'll meet a queen the girl of your dreams
She'll have a friend that's really really fat!
Every time you make your play you'll find out there ain't no way
To make love to beauty and the beast
Why do the best lookin' girls have these real ugly friends
Does this only happen to me

Now I'm so hot I could smother 'cause they both come home to mother
Does this only happen to me