Lyrics:

I turned my microwave on and I cooked my chicken ravioli
The last ten years of my life I've been feeling kind of lonely
I don't do love I don't do women named Hannah
And I don't do red haired girls from Louisiana

(Chorus):
I'm suffering from a kind of indecision
About what i'm gonna watch on television
And I'll dream tonight I'm dancing in Coahuila
With a little brown haired girl and her tequila

My momma always seemed to sing the same song
"You'll never meet no decent girls at Dallas honky tonks"
What she says is true with that I must agree
Cause any girl worth having wouldn't have a thing to do with me

(Chorus)

I'm sitting here just sucking on my cavity, cavity
Thinking of the things you used to say to me, tragedy

(Chorus)