Lyrics:

Matthew with the pug nose
Caught me with his sister in the wheatfield
Got a couple buddies
Tied me up and threw me in his Oldsmobile
I said 'Matthew are you crazy?'
As he started closing in for the kill
Matthew slowed the Olds to 10
Left me here to die in Merrittville

There's a game they play in the summertime
There's a game they play when it's hot outside
And I wonder why
They left me here in Merrittville

Sally with the narrow hips
Cut the rope and said that she could clear my head
She led me to the dirt path
All the way back to her daddy's shed
I said, 'Sally who'd believe
That we'd have to come so far for a thrill.'
Sally let me go that night
Weak, tired and spent in Merrittville

William with the holy book
Stopped me as I stumbled down the road today
He said 'Get on your knees, boy.
It's time you learned the right way to pray'
I said 'William, I had no idea
That the lord had such a will
William drove his point across
And left me here to burn in Merrittville