Lyrics:

(Triumph)
All right. How many of you remember a show called...The TV Funhouse? Well, we've got a surprise, for those of you who give a shit. My good friend, bring him on here, EL DOUG!

Doug, how are you doing?

(Doug)
Well, I really miss the Anipals.

(Triumph)
Oh, that's so sweet. And who's your favorite animal? Yes?

(Doug)
Well, I have a song I want to sing about my favorite animal.

(Triumph)
YES???!!

(Doug)
Yeah, a little guy named Benji.

(Triumph)
FUCK YOU!!!!!

(Doug)
He goes on an adventure, and he always saves the day
That's why we love our Benji

(Triumph)
Even though we know he's gay!

Oh yes
Benji's gay, Benji's queer
He takes his doggy bones from the rear
He laps up jizz like Norm drank beer
And that's how we know that Benji's queer

(Doug)
Why are you saying that? Triumph, Benji's not gay.

(Triumph)
Have you been living under a rock? Just keep going.

(Doug)
He saved his kidnapped owner, and he saved pups from a flood

(Triumph)
He always gets a boner, from his poster of Air Bud

Oh yes
Benji's queer, Benji's gay
He sees two balls and he barks 'HOORAY!'
He gave head to the Shaggy D.A.
And that's how we know that Benji's gay

(Doug)
You know, Triumph, I think you're being a little bitter.

(Triumph)
Bitter? Who's bitter? I'm just stating a simple fact.

(Doug)
But it's a terrible thing to say about Benji.

(Triumph)
Now, Doug, listen. Compared to what other dogs do, what these famous
celebrity dogs do, it's pretty soft.

(Doug)
Really?

(Triumph)
Yes. Doug, It's the famous ones, it's like perv city. Take a listen.

Eddie from Frasier pays a pug, and watches him fuck his wife
And Beethoven can only come when he's gasping for his life
Now Old Yeller liked his golden showers, that's how he got his name
And Spuds bangs dogs that were put to sleep, then spews from his own shame

(Doug)
Wowza!!

(Triumph)
Yeah, pretty ugly, isn't it?

(Doug)
Yeah.

(Triumph)
So you see, it's not so bad that...

(Both)
Benji's queer, Benji's gay
He sees two balls and he barks 'HOORAY!'
He's served more cock than a Chick-Fil-A
It's totally fine that Benjis gay.

(Triumph)
Good God, he's queer!