Lyrics:

Joshua, give me a beat, man

I am a star with a worldwide song
You're a steroid experiment gone terribly wrong
You sucked in the NFL, the truth hurts
You're as good at football as you are at fitting in shirts
So greasy and shiny, you don't even look real
You're a cross between Seal and an actual seal
Athlete-turned-actor, it must come as a shock
To be this big and still get overshadowed by The Rock

You take credit for 'Despacito,' that's just silly
It's Justin Bieber's song, you're like Milli Vanilli
Kids love your jam and that's just fact
But when you're standing next to Justin, they're like, 'Whose dad is that?'
You sing with Afrojack, have you ever been on your own?
You're basically like ketchup, you're not good alone
And your other song includes Demi Lovato as a feature
Are you actually a singer or just a Spanish teacher?

Okay
Dame un beat por favor, gracias

You're dead wrong, 'De-spa-cito''s one song
I got five Grammys and a career 20 years long
You make movies that could never sell
Go straight to DVDs and just sit on the shelves
I rap Puerto Rico, you're old as hell
Nobody wants to see you in Expendables 12
And yes, you tower over me, that much is clear
Truth is, I'm even shorter than your football career

Yeah, it's my turn on bring the pain, like Method. Come on, let's get me,

You think sleeveless shirts and leather jackets look nice
What Miami club bouncer gave you fashion advice?
Nowadays in music, it's hard to turn a profit
Got five billion streams and made 20 dollars off it
Do you think your music can really sustain ya?
Quick, name the guy who sang the Macarena
You tried to step up, but your style is absurd
I think your music sucks and only understand half the words

I don't know what you're saying

Okay. Okay

My hits are gigantic, my vocals cause panic
But you're the worst Crews/cruise since the Titanic
I've got Grammys, I've got billboards, breaking records, I'm the king
Where's your Oscar? Where's your Emmy? Where's your championship ring?
You were the host of Millionaire, but never rich
Did ads for Old Spice, but you still smell like shit
Finding anything good to say about you is a challenge
You're like if Michael Strahan abandoned his talents

Maestro, please!

Tonight when you were rapping everyone was laughing
They thought Wilmer Valderrama shoulda stuck to acting
Okay, Paco, stop acting macho
You're about as authentic as a Choco Taco
Will you ever have another big hit in this nation?
'Despacito' quickly turned into desperation
And you only got one talent, that's music, that cute
But I'm an actor, an athlete, and a beast on this flute