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Lyrics:
Bill: Im Bill S. Preston, Esq.! And this is Ted 'Theodore' Logan! BT: And we are Wyld Stallyns! DeNomolos: I am DeNomolos. Now . . . what is your mission? Evil Bill: First we totally kill Bill and Ted! Evil Ted: Yeah, then we take over their lives. Evil Bill: Hes totally a robot! Evil Ted: So are you, dude! Evil Bill: Whoa, were total metalheads! DeNomolos: Destroy that ridiculous, insipid band! Evil BT: Death to Bill and Ted! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! DeNomolos: You fools! Are we ready? Reaper: Get down with your bad self! DeNomolos: You fools! Evil BT: Yeah, totally! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! DeNomolos: You fools! Are we ready? Evil Ted: Ive got a full on robot chubby.
Evil BT: Hows it goin, Bill and Ted? Bill: Ted... its us again! Ted: Whoa! Bill: Youre metal, dude! Evil Bill: I know! Check it out! Were totally gonna kill you now! BT: Whoa... Evil Bill: Ha ha ha! Ted: Dudes, even though youre doing this, we... we... Bill: We love you! Evil BT: Fags! Bill: You dick, Bill! Evil Bill: I know! Lets waste em. BT: Aaaahhhhh!!! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! Rufus: Bogus Evil Bill: Stellar, Evil Ted! BT: No way! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! Rufus: Bogus Bill: Yeah! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! Rufus: Bogus Evil Bill: Stellar, Evil Ted! BT: No way! Evil Bill: I totally loogied on that good, dead me!
Ted: Bill, what happened? Bill: Ted, were dead, dude! BT: Whoa! Ted: Who are you? Bill: Ted, its the Grim Reaper, dude! Ted: Oh. Hows it hangin, Death? Weve got to get back to the babes! Bill: Ted, we cant . . . were dead, dude! Ted: Weve got to stop those evil uss! Weve gotta try! Bill: But how? BT: Melvin! Reaper: They melvined me!
Ted: Dude, I totally broke a rock!* Bill: Excellent!* Ted: I kinda like this* . . . Whos that? Bill: Ted, who do you think it is? Ted: Hows it goin, Beelzebub? Excellent rocks!* Bill: We totally broke some.* Ted: Okay, can we go now? BT: Whoa! Bill: Thanks dude! You know, youve got a bad rap. Colonel Oates: Gentlemen! Welcome to Hell! Ted: Dude. Bill: What? Ted: I think were in our own personal hell! Easter bunny: You stole Deacons Easter basket! Little Ted: No way! Granny S. Preston, Esq: How about a kiss? Little Bill: Bogus! Bill: You ugly red source of all evil! Granny S. Preston, Esq: All I want is one! Right on the lips! Colonel Oates: Get back here! BT: AHHHHHH!!!!!! WHOAAAAA!!!!!!! Bill: That was non-non-non-non heinous!
Evil Bill: You suck, dude!* Bill: Do something else, dude!* Ted: Yeah!* Bill: Not bad, dude! BT: Excellent!
Reaper: Get down with your bad self! Bill inside Sergeant: Whoa, donuts! Ted inside Captain Logan: I totally possessed my dad! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! Ted inside Captain Logan: Excellent! Bill inside Sergeant: I totally believe you, dude! Reaper: Get down with your bad self! Bill inside Sergeant: Whoa, donuts! Ted inside Captain Logan: I totally possessed my dad! Bill: You totally killed us, you evil metal dickweed! Evil Bill: Thats right, lesser developed human prototype uss!* Bill: Lets get em, Ted! Ted: Ahhhhh, yeah, no! Colonel Oates: Get em Granny! BT: Weve got to face them. Colonel Oates: Now get going! Various moans and groans of fears being defeated.
Bill: Kiss your fears, dudes! Ted: Or offer em a honeybun or something. And theyll get smaller and maybe theyll even go away!* Bill: Yeah, theyre not that bad, dude. So dont get programmed by anybody but yourself!* BT: Lets rock! Rufus: And most important, do not do your homework without wearing headphones! Evil BT: Catch you later, Bill Ted! Colonel Oates crying.
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