Lyrics:

I'm not a Starfleet commander or T.J. Hooker
I don't live on Starship NCC-1701 or own a phaser.
I don't know anyone named Bones, Sulu or Spock.
And no, I've never had green alien sex..
Although I'm sure it would be quite an evening.
I speak English and French, not Klingon.
I drink Labatt's, not Romulan ale.
And when someone says to me, 'Live long and prosper,'
I seriously mean it when I say 'Get a life!'
My doctor's name is not McCoy, it's Ginsberg.
And Tribbles were puppets! Not real animals! Puppets!
And when I speak, I never, ever, talk / like / every / word / is / its / own / sentence!
I live in California, but I was raised in Montreal.
And yes, I've gone where no man has gone before.
But I was in Mexico and her father gave me permission.
My name is William Shatner and I AM CANADIAN.'