Lyrics:

Parody of 'A Night To Remember' by Joe Diffie (Max T. Barnes/T. W. Hale) Curb Songs/Kinetic Diamond II/Rob 'N Reily/Songs Of Peer, Ltd./Gramily Music Publishing (ASCAP)
New Lyrics by Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark/Jeff Carter, Cledus Crap Anthems (SESAC)/Of Music, Inc. (SESAC)/Jeff Carter music (ASCAP)

Paul does this kind of thing every day

Yeah
Like what skip a rehearsal
You know we got the CMA Awards tomorrow night
What are we gonna do about a drummer
(to a kid)
Hey you come here
You ever played drums before

No

Want to

Yeah

Get in there and beat 'em then
OK hot dog
Start too soon you little showboat
Who do you think you are Tommy Lee Jones
Let's go

Uh…not bad for a four year old

Been dang near two years
Since I had a beer
By gosh that's changing tonight
Gonna start me a tab
Call me a cab
(* whistle *) TAXI
Might even get in a fight
I ain't going hog-wylin' forever
Gonna have myself a night I can't remember

Miller Lights a shot of Crown
Man that stuff burns goin' down
One too many Coke and Jacks It'll all come floatin' back
That Old Cuervo's way too strong
But one more 'fore I go home fire up the blender
Gonna have myself a night I can't remember

(Give me a cool tab and a gun)

Drunk ain't my style
And it'll be a long while 'fore I pull that stunt again
(Oh my head)
Tylenol and Tums
Oh no here it comes
I'm prayin to the porcelain
This hangover can't last forever
Done had myself a night I can't remember

OH
Shot out the lights
Kicked down the door
Woke up face down on the floor
I'd better call someone and ask
How'd I wind up in this cast
I got stamps on both my hands
I wonder who threw that beer can
Right through my winder
Done had myself a night I can't remember

OHHHHH
My dang liver's nearly gone
In AA's where I belong
Hey thanks bartender
Done had myself a night
I can't remember

Twelve steps my foot
I can't even take two
And by the way kid you're hired
Just no drinkin'
I mean it