Lyrics:

(HeatonRotheray) This table has four sturdy legs And a heart of very near wild oak When others would have screamed out loud my friend This one never even spoke I've been sat upon, I've been spat upon I've been treated like a bed Been carried like a stretcher, when someone thinks they're dead I've been dined upon, I've been wined upon I've been taken for a fool Taken for a desk, when they should have been at school This table's been pushed against the door When tempers, well tempers flare at night Banged upon with knuckles clenched my friend When someone thinks that they are right I've been sat upon, I've been spat upon I've been treated like a bed Been carried like a stretcher, when someone thinks they're dead I've been dined upon, I've been wined upon I've been taken for a fool Taken for a desk, when they should have been at school Tables only turn when tables learn Put me on a bonfire, watch me burn Treat me with some dignity, don't treat me like a slave Or I'll turn into the coffin in your grave I've been sat upon, I've been spat upon I've been treated like a bed Been carried like a stretcher, when someone thinks they're dead I've been dined upon, I've been wined upon I've been taken for a fool Taken for a desk, when they should have been at school Tables only turn when tables learn Put me on a bonfire, watch me burn Treat me with some dignity, don't treat me like a slave Or I'll turn into the coffin in your grave