Lyrics:

I dropped down in my easy chair and I turned on channel 2
A bad gun slinger named Salty Sam was a chasin poor sweet Sue
He trapped her in the old saw mill and said with and evil laugh,
'If you don't give me the deed to your ranch, I'll saw you all in half.'

And then he grabbed her. (Help, he grabbed me. Help)
He tied her up. (Help, he's tieing me up, Help)
He turned on the buzz saw. (He's turning on the buz saw. Help, help, help.)

And then along came Jones,
Tall, thin Jones,
Slow walken Jones.
Slow talkin Jones,
Along came long, lean, lanky Jones.

Commercial came on so I got up to fix myself a snack.
You shoulda seen what was going on by the time that I got back.
Down in the old abandon mine, sweet Sue was a havin fits.
That villan said, 'If you don't give me deed to your ranch, I'll blow you all to bits'

And then he grabbed her. (Help, he grabbed me. Help)
He tied her up. (Help, he's tieing me up again, Help)
He lit the fuse to the dinomite. (He lit the fuse to the dinomite. Help, help, ohhh, oh help somebody, help.)

And then along came Jones,
Tall, thin Jones,
Slow walken Jones.
Slow talkin Jones,
Along came long, lean, lanky Jones.

I got so bugged I turned it off and turned on another show.
There was the same ol shootem up and the same ol rodeo.
Salty Sam was trying to stuff sweet Sue in a burlap sack.
He said, 'If you don't give me the deed to ranch, I'll throw you on the railroad track.'

And then he grabbed her. (Help, he grabbed me again.)
He tied her up. (Here we go again, tiein me up.)
He threw her on the railroad track. (He's throwing me on the railroad track.)
A train started comin. (Auhh, here comes the tain, here comes the train. Auhh, help, help, help)

And then along came Jones,
Tall, thin Jones,
Slow walken Jones.
Slow talkin Jones,
Along came long, lean, lanky Jones.

Along came long, lean, lanky Jones.
Along came long, lean, lanky Jones.