Lyrics:

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer we're a notorious couple of cats
As knockabout clowns, quick - change comedians
Tight - rope walkers and acrobats
We have an extensive reputation, we make our home in Victoria Grove
This is merely our center of operation for we are incurably given to rove
If the area window was found ajar and the basement looked like a field of war
If a tile or two came loose on the roof which presently failed to be waterproof
If the drawers were pulled out from the bedroom chests
And you couldn't find one of your winter vests
Or after supper one of the girls suddenly missed her Woolworth pearls
Then the family would say, 'It's that horrible cat!
It was Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer!'
And most of the time they left it at that
Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have an unusual gift of the gab
We are highly efficient cat burglars as well
And remarkably smart at a smash and grab
We make our home in Victoria Grove, we have no regular occupation
We are plausible fellows who liked to engage a friendly policeman in conversation
When the family assembled for Sunday dinner
Their minds made up that they won't get thinner on
Argentine joint, potatoes and greens
Then the cook would appear from behind the scenes
And say in a voice that was broken with sorrow
'I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow
The joint has gone from the oven like that!'
Then the family would say, 'It's that horrible cat!
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer!'
And most of the time they left it at that
Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer have a wonderful way of working together
And some of the time you would say it was luck and some of the time you would say it was weather
We go through the house like a hurricane and no sober person could take his oath
Was it Mungojerrie or Rumpelteazer? Or could you have sworn that it might have been both?
When you heard a dining room smash or up from the pantry there came a loud crash
Or down from the library came a loud ping
From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming
Then the family would say: 'Now which was which cat?
It was Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer
And there's nothing at all to be done about that'