Lyrics:

What?
Valentine
Sign here
You sure look nice today
Whatever
Have a nice day
My dear sweet valentine
I thought I'd take a break and fantasize about you a little bit
I've been doing that a lot lately
Sometimes I remember so clearly how you look
That I have to splash cold water all over myself
Sometimes it ruins my clothes
Creepy, creepy, that's my middle name
Tick tock, watch the clock, it's kinda like a game
Got up this morning thinkin' everything was fine
Then the devil made me send a stalker valentine
So as long as I have you on my mind, I might as well say
'Hello'
It'll be the last time I can say that from this address, because I'm moving
I have to move now, because I've written your name
All over the walls in red paint, and it won't come off
Every time I see it, it makes me think of you
Because, well, it's your name
I'm thinking of you right now
And I can feel the tears welling up in that little gland on the inside of my eye
Here they come
Running down over my clown makeup
I'm wiping them away now
I'm getting a snotty nose
More tears, more snot
I'm wiping my nose with that silk handkerchief I stole from your apartment
When you were in Phoenix with that guy, Kevin, last year on my birthday
I think it's ruined now
People, they don't like me much, they tell me I'm a punk
Don't you know how much it hurts me, baby?
Keeps me in a funk
Well, just like Humpty Dumpty, I'm up here on the wall
Waitin' to give my valentine another creepy call
Oh, yeah
Blood? Where did that come from?
Wait, that was no silk handkerchief
It was a freaking hammer
Why did I wipe my nose with a freaking hammer?
Jeez, I am so stupid, I don't deserve to live
Can't stop the bleeding
Gotta go, weak from loss of blood
Fading
Must say last words
I, I, I lo, I lo, oh, I, I love
Oops, there goes the phone
Gotta go now, call ya later
Just can't wait to call again
I think she likes my spunk
Can't you see she kinda digs me, man?
She thinks I'm quite a hunk
And oh, those big brown eyes
She's lookin' mighty fine
It kinda makes me wanna send a stalker valentine
Yeah
Loser