Lyrics:

Hit me
(Yeah)
Alright

When I got up this mornin', I rolled out of bed (Yeah)
I felt like this dog who's been kicked in the head (Ouch)
Checked out my mail, there was this letter that read

It said, 'Love for sale, love for sale'

I picked up the phone, at everyone I could
I let my fingers do the walkin' through the telephone book
You can't catch a fish if you ain't got the hook (Hook, yeah)

I say no, love for sale, love for sale

Well, send up a signal and throw me a line
Somebody explain this funny Valentine
It might not be legal but it sure ain't a crime
Bein' one step from crazy, bein' two steps behind
I called Lieutenant Columbo from my TV set
I tried the Dating Game, I haven't found her yet
I'm hopin' that she lookin' like a Penthouse Pet

(Say, hey) Love for sale, yeah, love for sale

(One more time)

Well we been living together, yeah, through years
Two hours, twenty minutes, maybe four hundred beers
She says, 'You can't shop for love when you're shoppin' at Sears'

Love for sale, hey, love for sale

I guess I learned my lesson, it was easy to see
Well, my old lady, she played this joke on me
I never looked where I forgot it to be

There for sale, l-l-love for sale

Love for sale
Hey, love for sale (Got some love for sale, man)
Uh-uh, love for sale
My old lady locked it up (Your old lady really did that to you?)
Love for sale, yeah

(I'll start playin' the blues for you, man)
I got the blues
You should see her mama, ha
Wanna talk about the blues

(Love for sale, hey) And her big brothers
(Love for sale, hey) They locked my ass up one night
(Love for sale, hey)
(I got love for sale) He brought a shotgun with him

Hahahaha, is that what that was?
(That was a shotgun wedding right here) Uh-huh
Somebody get me a drink, ha

(Oh, get that, now)

Aw-aw, Rich
(Uh-oh)
I gotta go
(How come, man)
I gotta go home, hahahaha
(You gotta go home to that woman?)
I dunno why, I gotta go home, man
That's, just let, just let's, let's just say that the record's done, okay?
(Ooh-whoo)
(Love for sale)