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Lyrics:
Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals) Warren Cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals) Denny Walley (slide guitar, vocals) Ike Willis (lead vocals) Peter Wolf (keyboards) Arthur Barrow (bass, vocals) Ed Mann (percussion) Vinnie Colaiuta (drums)
Central Scrutinizer: This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... Joe and his date are going back to the apartment to have a little party...
Joe: Sy Borg Gimme dat, gimme dat
Sy Borg Gimme dat, give me de chromium leg,
I beg
Sy Borg Gimme dat, gimme dat
Sy Borg Gimme dat, give me de chromium leg,
Little wires, pliers, tires They turn me on
Maybe I'm crazy Maybe I'm crazy Maybe I'm crazy, mon...
Stroking several of SY's gleaming appendages, JOE continues...
Gee, Sy This is a real groovy apartment You've got here
Sy Borg: All government sponsored recreational services are clean and efficient
Joe: This is exciting I never plooked A tiny chrome-plated machine That looks like a magical pig With marital aids stuck all over it Such as yourself before
Sy Borg: You'll love it! It's a way of life.
Joe: Does that mean maybe later You'll plook me...
Sy Borg: If you wish, we may have a groovy orgy
Joe: Just me and you?
Sy Borg: I share this apartment With a modified Gay Bob doll He goes all the way... Ever try oral sex with a miniature rubberized homo-replica?
Joe: No, ah, not yet, Ah, is this him?
Sy Borg: This is him. Your wish is his command He likes you He wants to kiss you always Just tell him what you want
Joe: Really? Hi, little guy Think I might get a tiny, but exciting Blow...job...
Gimme dat, gimme dat Blow job... Gimme dat, give me de chromium cob.
Sy Borg: Bend over.
Joe: Gay Bob Blow job Gimme dat, gimme dat Blow job Gimme dat, give me de chromium cob
Sy Borg: You'll love it! It looks just like a TeleFunken U-47.
Joe: Little leather cap and trousers They look so gay.. Warren just bought some Warren just bought some Warren just bought some Hey...
Sy Borg: Bob is tired. Plook me now, You savage rascal Ehhh! That tickles. You are a fun person I like you. I want to kiss you always.
Joe: Gee, this is great How's about some bondage and humiliation
Sy Borg: Anything you say, master.
Joe: Oh no, I don't believe it You're way more fun than Mary...
Sy Borg: You're plooking too hard...
Joe: And cleaner than Lucille...
Sy Borg: Plooking on me...
Joe: What have I been missing All these years?
Sy Borg: Too hard
Joe: Sy...
Sy Borg: Too hard
Joe: Sy...
Sy Borg: Plooking too hard on me-e-e-e-e...
Joe: Speak to me Oh no... The golden shower must have shorted out His master circuit He's, he's, oh my God I must have plooked him... Hey To death... Hey
Central Scrutinizer: This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... You have just destroyed one model XQJ-37 Nuclear Powered Pan- Sexual Roto-Plooker And you're gonna have to pay for it! So give up, you haven't got a chance.
Joe: But I... I, I, I, I, I... I can't pay I gave all my money To some kinda groovy religious guy... Two songs ago...
Central Scrutinizer: Come on out son... Between the two of us We'll find a way to Work it out
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