Lyrics:

Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Warren Cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Denny Walley (slide guitar, vocals)
Ike Willis (lead vocals)
Peter Wolf (keyboards)
Arthur Barrow (bass, vocals)
Ed Mann (percussion)
Vinnie Colaiuta (drums)

Central Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... Joe and his date are going back to the apartment to have a little party...

Joe:
Sy Borg
Gimme dat,
gimme dat

Sy Borg
Gimme dat, give me
de chromium leg,

I beg

Sy Borg
Gimme dat,
gimme dat

Sy Borg
Gimme dat, give me
de chromium leg,

Little wires,
pliers, tires
They turn me on

Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe I'm crazy,
mon...

Stroking several of SY's gleaming appendages, JOE continues...

Gee, Sy
This is a real groovy
apartment
You've got here

Sy Borg:
All government
sponsored recreational
services are clean and
efficient

Joe:
This is exciting
I never plooked
A tiny chrome-plated
machine
That looks like a
magical pig
With marital aids
stuck all over it
Such as yourself
before

Sy Borg:
You'll love it!
It's a way of life.

Joe:
Does that mean
maybe later
You'll plook me...

Sy Borg:
If you wish, we may
have a groovy orgy

Joe:
Just me and you?

Sy Borg:
I share this apartment
With a modified
Gay Bob doll
He goes all the way...
Ever try oral sex with
a miniature rubberized
homo-replica?

Joe:
No, ah, not yet,
Ah, is this him?

Sy Borg:
This is him.
Your wish is
his command
He likes you
He wants to kiss
you always
Just tell him what
you want

Joe:
Really?
Hi, little guy
Think I might get a
tiny, but exciting
Blow...job...

Gimme dat,
gimme dat
Blow job...
Gimme dat, give me
de chromium cob.

Sy Borg:
Bend over.

Joe:
Gay Bob
Blow job
Gimme dat,
gimme dat
Blow job
Gimme dat, give me
de chromium cob

Sy Borg:
You'll love it!
It looks just like a
TeleFunken U-47.

Joe:
Little leather cap
and trousers
They look so gay..
Warren just bought some
Warren just bought some
Warren just bought some
Hey...

Sy Borg:
Bob is tired.
Plook me now,
You savage rascal
Ehhh! That tickles.
You are a fun person
I like you.
I want to kiss
you always.

Joe:
Gee, this is great
How's about some
bondage and
humiliation

Sy Borg:
Anything you say,
master.

Joe:
Oh no, I don't believe
it
You're way more fun
than Mary...

Sy Borg:
You're plooking
too hard...

Joe:
And cleaner than
Lucille...

Sy Borg:
Plooking on me...

Joe:
What have I
been missing
All these years?

Sy Borg:
Too hard

Joe:
Sy...

Sy Borg:
Too hard

Joe:
Sy...

Sy Borg:
Plooking too hard
on me-e-e-e-e...

Joe:
Speak to me
Oh no...
The golden shower
must have shorted out
His master circuit
He's, he's, oh my God
I must have
plooked him...
Hey
To death...
Hey

Central Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... You have just destroyed one model XQJ-37 Nuclear Powered Pan- Sexual Roto-Plooker And you're gonna have to pay for it! So give up, you haven't got a chance.

Joe:
But I...
I, I, I, I, I...
I can't pay
I gave all my money
To some kinda groovy
religious guy...
Two songs ago...

Central Scrutinizer:
Come on out son...
Between the two of us
We'll find a way to
Work it out