Lyrics:

I'll tell you a story, believe me, it's true.A tale you best hope never happens to you.Old Spicy McHaggis, how he met
his fate.You I can save, but for him it's too late.Spicy was big, burly and strong. His pipes were gigantic,and so was his
schlong!From city to city, running around,always looking for chicks over four hundred poundsOne night at the pub, a girl c
aught his eye,big as a house, just the right size.the broad was enormous, stacked to the hilt,Spicy soon noticed a bulge in
his kilt.The piper delivered his best pick-up line,thought to himself,