Lyrics:

You're sort of famous, a minor celebrity
And so it only makes sense the world would be
Obsessed with every single thing you do

They're running 'round with their camcorders in the night
They're lurking patiently and hoping that they just might
See something real embarrassing you do

A bad hair day and sweat stained t-shirt
That's the story that they're gonna feature
With exclusive pics of your flabby behind
You think you're all alone but that's right when you'll find

A bunch of paparazzi popping outta nowhere
Cameras in your face and then suddenly
You're on TMZ
You're on TMZ

Following you when you're walking down the street
And asking stupid questions while you're trying to eat
So you cover your face thinking to yourself
Hey, isn't this creepy?

And they're out there praying you'll have a big meltdown
And take 'em on a little car chase through this whole town
They'll be there with you when you're going to jail
First time the scene for every wardrobe failed

You just picked up some transvestite
Seconds later it's up on the website
Get a Vegas wedding or quickie divorce
And they'll sneaking in snapping pictures of course

And if they ever catch you picking your nose
Or storming down the street on a drunken spree
You're on TMZ

Stalking you, just waiting by your front door
Trailing you through airport security
They're with TMZ
They're with TMZ

Oh, let me tell you
It's getting to the point where a famous person can't
Even get a DUI or go on a racist rant
Those guys are all around so you really shouldn't dare
Go to every club in town, if you've lost your underwear

Seems that every single time a star decides
To shave their head or ram their car into a tree
They're with TMZ

If they catch you peeing in the bushes
Later on that night, well, I guarantee
You're on TMZ
You're on TMZ

You're on TMZ
Every single celebrity
Knows they're gonna be
There on TMZ