Lyrics:

Hey girl, you know, our economy's in the toilet

But I'm still gonna treat you right

I said you can have whatever you like, if you like

I said you can have whatever you like, if you like

Yeah



Tater tots, Cold Duck on ice

And we can clip coupons all night

And baby you can have whatever you like, if you like

I said you can have whatever you like, if you like

Yeah



Take you out for dinner anywhere that you please

Like Burger King or Mickey D's

And baby you can have whatever you like, if you like

I said you can even have the large fries, large fries

Yeah



Baby, you should know I am really quite a sweet guy

When I buy you bathroom tissue, I always get the 2-ply

Want it, you can get it, my dear

I got my Costco membership card right here



Yeah you like Top Ramen? Need Top Ramen?

Got a cupboard full of 'em, I'll keep 'em comin'

You want it, I got it, go get it, just heat it

Dump the flavor packet on it and eat it



Pork and beans and Minute Rice

And we can play cribbage all night

And baby you can have whatever you like, if you like

I said you can have whatever you like, if you like

Yeah



I can take you to the Laundromat downtown

And watch all the clothes go 'round and 'round

And baby we can go wherever you like, if you like

I said we can go wherever you like, if you like

Yeah



Hottest shorty I know, if you had some lipo

You could be second runner-up Miss Ohio

Seven dollar bills rolled up inside my plastic billfold

Buy you a bagel even if it is a day old



And you never ever gotta wear your sister's old clothes

Long as I'm still assistant manager at Kinko's

Cut your hair with scissors and a soup bowl

You ain't gotta pay me, that's the way that I roll



My chick can have what she want

At Wal-Mart she can pick out anything she want

I know girl, you ain't never had a man like that

Who doesn't make you buy generic brand like that



Yeah you like my Hyundai? See my Hyundai?

I can take you to see your cousin Phil next Sunday

But that's kinda far and I'm not made of cash

Do you think you could chip in for gas?



Mac and cheese would be all right

But let's send out for pizza tonight

And you can order any toppings you like, if you like

I said you can even have the last slice, last slice

Yeah



Ran myself a cable from my neighbor next do', do'

Now I can get free HBO

And baby you can watch whatever you like, if you like

I said you can watch whatever you like, if you like

Yeah



And you can always ride the city bus

Got a stack of tokens just for us

Yo, my wallet's fat and full of ones

Yeah, it's all about the Washingtons, that's right



You want White Castle? Need White Castle?

Long as you got me it won't be no hassle

You want it, well get it, just don't be a hater

If I grab a bunch of napkins for later



Thrift store jeans, on sale half price

The underwear at Goodwill is nice

And baby you can have whatever you like, if you like

I said you can have whatever you like, if you like

Yeah



Baby I can give you anything you please

Even share my government cheese

And baby you can have as much as you like, if you like

I said you can go have as much as you like, if you like

Yeah