Lyrics:

when something goes wrong
that sweatsuited scapegoat
for the exercising bomb
put the blame on jack la lanne
he's our man

my lawn turned yellow
my goldfish died
i squirted some ben-gay
right in my eye

he's the fucking cause
that sweatsuited scapegoat
with the atomic sock
when he exercises me
i know he doesn't shower
when i see him beatin' meat
he makes me want to shower.
Guttermouth Jack La Lanne