Lyrics:

Queen: We must think of a test that sounds fair
And looks fair
And seems fair
And isnt fair
When you got the idea of testing her for sensitivity, I could've applauded right out loud.
But exactly what?
Wizard: Table manners?
Queen: No, that's not good enough... sensitivity...
Sensitivity, sensitivity, I'm just loaded with that
In this one word is the epitome of the aristocrat!
Sensitive soul and sensitive stomach, sensitive hands and feet-
This is the blessing, also the curse of being a true elite
Common people don't know what exquisite agony is
Suffered by gentle people like me
Just get your hand off me!
Think of tricky test for that wretched moat-swimming princess-
Wizard: Madame, may I suggest, maybe we ought to-?
Queen: Don't take all night, I'm not well I need my rest
Not that I ever sleep on that lumpy mattress, oh God, my back!
Sensitivity, bane of royalty, that bed's a torture rack!
Oh, I hate to sound grumpy
But my nerves are so jumpy
I am sure I could feel any lump even if it were under the mattress and small as a pea- That's the answer-under the mattress! We'll test her tonight
One tiny pea beneath one thick downy mattress, oh God, you're bright!
Any genuine princess would feel it
If she doesn't, she's through!
Get the tiniest pea and order a mattress-no, make it two!
Wizard: Why not five?
Queen: Ten, I think would be plenty. Better still, make it twenty!
And to play it safe in the event even that's not enough to ensure that she sleeps
We'll give her a soothing sedative, won't we? You can whip up a drink.
Something stunning! Oh, but you're devilish, I love the way you think!
She's insensitive, so insensitive
She'll fall asleep, no doubt!
God, but you're clever, brilliant, a genius
You are divine!
GET OUT!