Lyrics:

I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas day, on Christmas Day..
I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas day in the morning.
And what was in those ships, all three?
On Christmas day in the [laughing]
Shut up TURDS!
..was in those ships, all three?
On Christmas day in the morning.

The Virgin Mary and Christ were there [laughing]
On Christmas day, on Christmas day..
The Virgin Mary and [more laughing]
Shut up TURDS!
.. Christ were there
On Christmas day in the morning.
And let us all rejoice amain
On Christmas day, on Christmas day
And let [laughing] I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!
... all rejoice amain on Christmas day in the morning

Shelley is starting to get pissed.. [laughing]
On Christmas day, on Christmas day.. [more laughing]
Shelley got up, and killed them turds.. [laughing]
On Christmas day IN THE MORNING!
[Smashing piano noise] [AAAHHH!]