Lyrics:

The Playboy centerfold is younger than me
She likes family get-togethers and aborigines
I dont think I can ever masturbate again
I dont think I will ever steal that magazine from my father again

The playboy centerfold would never talk to me
Because I hate family get-togethers and Im not an aborigine
I dont think I can ever feel the same again
I dont think I will ever sing about my father
I will never sing about my father
I promise not to sing about my father again