Lyrics:

The time is the present, 1963
And imagine if you will, a scene in West Germany where my friends and I are having a little party
It's quite a private party
We're celebrating the coming holiday season, Christmas and the New Year

On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A partridge in a pear tree (La, la, la, la)

On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

On the third day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Four top Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love said to me
'To Hell with Adenauer'
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

On the sixth day of Christmas
We received from Israel (Ja?)
Six guided missiles
'To Hell with Adenauer'
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

On the seventh day of Christmas
The US sent us free
Seven more million dollars
Six guided missiles
'To Hell with Adenauer'
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

On the eighth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A Telefunken H-Bomb
(A Telefunken H-Bomb? Ja, a Telefunken H-Bomb
Let me show you this Telefunken H-Bomb
It looks just like an ordinary Telefunken Radio
Except when you're trying to get England
YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ENGLAND!)
Seven million dollars
Six guided missiles
'To Hell with Adenauer'
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

On the ninth day of Christmas
We heard officially
'They got the wrong Eichmann'
Telefunken H-Bomb
Seven million dollars
Six guided missiles
'To Hell with Adenauer'
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

On the tenth day of Christmas
Long Island sent us free
Ten swastika scribblers
'Got the wrong Eichmann'
Telefunken H-Bomb
Seven million dollars
Six guided missiles
'To Hell with Adenauer'
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

On the eleventh day of Christmas
We heard officially
'Monocles are back!'
Ten swastika scribblers
'Got the wrong Eichmann'
Telefunken H-Bomb
Seven million dollars
Six guided missiles
'To Hell with Adenauer'
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear tree

On the twelfth day of Christmas
They told all Germany
'HE is still alive'
'Monocles are back'
Ten swastika scribblers
'Got the wrong Eichmann'
Telefunken H-Bomb
Seven million dollars
Six guided missiles
'To Hell with Adenauer'
Four Gestapo leaders
Three anti-Semites
Rudolf Hess's blessings
And a partridge in a pear (Merry Christmas, everybody) tree