Well now friends you'd never guess it so I really must confess it I just met the sweetest woman of my long dismal life But a friend of mine said buddy just in case your mind is muddy Don't you know that girl you're fooling with is Peg-Leg Johnson's wife And that man is hard and cold and mean and grim And he'll catch you and he'll brain you with his artificial limb But next morning bright and early I stole old Peg-Leg's girlie And I also took his wooden leg just to play it safe But there weren't no time for laughter cause he started hopping after And I keep on running faster but he won't give up the chase And I'm running through the mountains with his bride And I got his wooden leg here by my side I'm a three-legged man with a two-legged woman Being chased across country by a one-legged fool Though he's hoppin' and he's clappin' and he shows no sign of stoppin' I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel
Through the deserts and the valleys and those dark Chicago alleys Cross the muddy Mississippi to the hills of Caroline Through the mountains of Montana and the swamps of Louisiana Each time that I look back he's just about one foot behind And I know he must be cold and wet and sick But in spite of all his troubles he can kick Oh he's ragged and he's filthy and I'm feeling kinda guilty Specially in the evenings when I hear him plead and beg He says in spite of all your stealing friend I bear you no hard feelings You can keep that damned old woman but please give me back my leg Cause old friend I know you think you took my wooden leg But in the dark you made a mistake you took my good leg I'm a three-legged man... I tell you boys this life is hard and cruel