Lyrics:

Do people have a tendency to dump on you?
Does your group have more cavities than theirs?
Do all the hippies seem to get the jump on you?
Do you sleep alone when other sleep in pairs?
Well, there's no need to complain, we'll eliminate your pain
We can neutralize your brain, you'll feel just fine now
Buy a big, bright green pleasure machine

Do figures of authority just shoot you down?
Is life within the business world a drag?
Did your boss just mention that you'd better shop around
To find yourself a more productive bag?
Are you worried and distressed, can't seem to get no rest
Put our product to the test. you'll feel just fine now
Buy a big, bright green pleasure machine

You better hurry up and order one
Our limited supply is very nearly gone

Do you nervously await the blows of cruel fate?
Do your checks bounce higher than a rubber ball?
Are you worried 'cause your girlfriend's just a little late?
Are you looking for a way to chuck it all?
We can end your daily strife at a reasonable price
You've seen it advertised in Life, you'll feel just fine now
Buy a big, bright green pleasure machine