Lyrics:

Mr Major's got a pager
Because he sells E's
To the Russians
Who crush and snort them
But they never seem to sneeze
I need no answers to my questions
Oh Mr Major's old and greyer
Than he's ever been
He lied to us all
And took a big fat wager
But now he hasn't got a bean
I need no answers to my questions
And I need no questions to my an-answers
Now Felix the cat is on his back
Oh Felix the cat what a twat
So who needs Columbo
He's just got off a slow boat
From China or somewhere like that
I need no answers to my questions
And I need no questions to my an-answers
I need no answers to my questions
And I need no questions to my an-answers