Lyrics:

Stephen: I wrote a song - Uh, Mark has been my best friend for many years now, and I wrote a song -
Mark: About one
Stephen: That's a lot of - months (Years). I wrote a song to kind of celebrate what I think is our greatest asset as friends, and that's our complete and utter differences, we're total opposites when it comes to almost everything (Completely). So I wrote a song and we're going to sing it for you now
Stephen: Gay. Not gay
Stephen: Just one. One thing. One thing
Mark: It's this shirt, isn't it?
Mark: Alright, I'm the gay one. Whatever
Stephen: Thank you
Stephen: I didn't want to out you in front of everybody

Mark: I like my toast buttered
Stephen: ...And I'll take mine dry

Mark: I dig the Beatles
Stephen: I'm a Stones kinda' guy

Mark: I have fine taste
Stephen: ...And I like things cheap

Mark: I wanna stay up all night
Stephen: I just wanna sleep... with your sister

Mark: ...I'm sorry, what did you just say?
Stephen: ...What?
Mark: No, you just said something about that you wanted - sleep with my -
Mark: I like the sunshine
Stephen: ...And I wanna nail your sister...

Mark: See, there you just said it again-
Mark: I like Julia Roberts movies
Stephen: I just wanna fuck the shit out of your sister!
...Well, Teich you would rule (What are you talking about?)
If you'd say 'it's cool' (It's not cool!)
I'd go pick her up
At her junior high school. (Woah)
Yeah, your sister! (Wait, THAT sister?!)
Yeah-ah-ah-ah...!
I wanna fuck your sister!
I wanna fuck her in her fucking face
And then fucking come all over her fucking hair. (You can't - No, hey!)
Well, I'd stick it in her eyeball... (Oh my god!)
And I'd move it around and then (You can't skullfuck my sister!)
Mark: Wait, wait, HO. Wait a minute!
Stephen: What?
Mark: Woah, goddamnit
Stephen: What?
Mark: You wanna fuck my sister?
Stephen: Yes
Mark: You wanna fuck my sister?
Stephen: Yes

Mark: ...$26.50