Lyrics:

Brain-storming habit-forming battle-warning weary winsome actor spewing
spineless chilling lines-
Critics falling over to tell themselves he's boring and really not an awful
lot of fun.
Well, who the hell can he be when he's never had V.D., and he doesn't even
sit on toilet seats?
Court-jesting, never-resting - he must be very cunning to assume an air of
dignity and
Bless us all with his oratory prowess; his lame-brained antics and his
jumping in the air.
And every night his act's the same and so it must be all a game of chess
he's playing -
'But you're wrong Steve: you see, it's Only Solitaire