Lyrics:

Someone please save us, us college kids!
What my parents told me is what I did
They said go to school and be a college kid
But in the end I questioned why I did
I'm poor, I'm starving, I'm flat broke
I've got no cash to spend
Sell all my books for front row tickets
To Dave Matthews Band
My girlfriend's at another school, I know this year will test her
I called, found out she had three other boyfriends last semester
And that's why I say

*chorus*
Oh no! Not for me, not for me
Call it torture, call it university
No! Arts and craft is all I need
I'll take calligraphy and then I'll make a fake degree

Eighty grand later I found out that all that I had learned
Is that you should show up to take your finals and your midterms
The party scene is kinda mean, I think it's sick and twisted
The navy showed up at my dorm and claimed that I enlisted

*chorus*

Don't get excited, she'll say no without a doubt you see
And I've decided college girls just won't go out with me
They make me nervous and they always catch me off my guard
Like cell phone service I drop out cause college is too hard
Its time to call my father
Cause its his alma mater
Good grades aren't what they seem
I think he knows the dean
Its time to call my father
Cause its his alma mater
He says he's proud of me
But college always was his dream
And I would always say it's not for me

*chorus*

Phi, beta, delta, kappa
Do what will make you happy
Do what you feel is right
Only but one thing matters
Learn how to live your life
Do what will make God happy
Do what you feel is right
Only but one thing matters
Learn how to live your life