Lyrics:

Who? Maddest one on the M1
Who hasn't stopped sucking his thumb?
Who? Very straight and never grins
Who cares what car he's driving in?

He is 'cause he saw it on a commercial break
And if he doesn't get what he wants then he gets a headache
'Cause he needs it - wants it - almost - loves it
He's here on his own, on globe alone, here on his own

Who? Joined health club to glisten
Into hi-fi precision
Who? Mobile phone gives him the bone
Who? Very keen on Sharon Stone

He is 'cause he saw it on a commercial break
And if he doesn't get what he wants then he gets a headache
'Cause he needs it - wants it - almost - loves it
He's here on his own, on globe alone
Here on his own, on globe alone la la la laaaa

(Spoken: And then he said...)
[instrumental solo]

Oh who eats at the new brasserie?
Who only ever gets merry?
Who wouldn't be seen at bedtime
Without putting Calvin Kleins on?

He is because he saw it on a commercial break
And if he doesn't get what he wants he gets a headache
'Cause he needs it - wants it - almost - loves it
He's here on his own, on globe alone
Here on his own, on globe alone
Here on his own