Lyrics:

[All:] Anything you can do, I can do better than you
can do.
[Haymes:] I can do.
[Women:] We can do.
[Crosby:] I can do.
[All:] Much, much better than you.

[Crosby:] Anything you can do, I can do better.
[Women:] I can do anything better than you.
[Crosby:] No, you can't.
[Women:] Yes, I can.
[Crosby:] No, you can't.
[Women:] Yes, I can.
[Crosby:] No, you can't.
[Women:] Yes, I can, yes I can!

[Haymes:] Anything you can be, I can be greater.
[Patty:] Sooner or later, I'm greater than you.
[Haymes:] No, you're not.
[Patty:] Yes, I am.
[Haymes:] No, you're not.
[Patty:] Yes, I am.
[Haymes:] No, you're not.
[Patty:] Yes, I am, yes, I am!

[Haymes:] I can shoot a partridge with a single
cartridge.
[Crosby:] I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow.
[Men:] We can do most anything.
[Women:] Can you bake a pie?
[Men:] No!
[Women:] Well, neither can I.

[Crosby:] Anything you can sing, I can sing louder.
[Haymes:] I can sing anything louder than you.
[Crosby:] No, you can't.
[Haymes:] Yes, I can.
[Crosby:] No, you can't.
[Haymes:] Sure, I can.
[Crosby:] No, you can't.
[Haymes:] Yes, I can.
[Crosby, spoken:] Kid sings pretty loud.

[Crosby:] I'm superior.
[Women:] No, you're inferior.
[Haymes:] I'm the big attraction.
[Women:] Oh, no, you are the small.
[Crosby:] I'm the major one.

[Women:] Oh, no, you're the minor one.
[Haymes:] I can beat you at anything.
[All:] And that's not all.

[Haymes:] Anything you can buy, I can buy cheaper.
[Women:] I can buy anything cheaper than you.
[Haymes:] Fifty cents.
[Women:] Forty cents.
[Haymes:] Thirty cents.
[Women:] Twenty cents.
[Haymes:] No, you can't.
[Women:] Yes, I can, yes, I can.

[Patty:] Anything you can dig, I can dig deeper.
[Crosby:] I can dig anything deeper than you.
[Patty:] Thirty feet.
[Crosby:] Forty feet.
[Patty:] Fifty feet.
[Crosby, spoken:] Oh, go to diggin', kid.
[Patty, spoken:] Oh, I'm so tired.

[Haymes:] I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker.
[Women:] I can do it quicker and get even sicker.
[Crosby:] I can live on bread and cheese.
[Women:] And only on that?
[Crosby:] Yep.
[Women:] Well, so can a rat.
[Crosby:] Ouch!

[Haymes:] Any note you can reach I can go higher.
[Crosby:] I can sing anything higher than you.
[Haymes:] No, you can't.
[Crosby:] Yes, I can.
[Haymes:] No, you can't.
[Crosby:] Yes, I can.
[Haymes, spoken:] Oh, pick up your tonsils.
[Crosby, spoken:] I'm sorry

[Instrumental break.]

[Crosby:] Anyone you can lick, I can lick faster.
[Patty:] I can lick anyone faster than you.
[Crosby:] With your fist?
[Patty:] With my feet.
[Crosby:] With your feet?
[Patty:] With an axe.
[Crosby, spoken:] Call me a cab, kid.
[Patty:] [Laughs.]

[All:] Anything you can do, I can do better.
I can do anything better than you.
[Women:] No, you can't.
[Men:] Yes, we can.
[Women:] No, you can't.
[Men:] Yes, we can.
[Women:] No, you can't.
[Men:] Yes, we can.
[All:] Yes, we can.